Runescape Runaround 1 The Trouble with Delrith
by Commander Zurtok
Summary: The true story of a warrior and what really happens in the world of Runescape.


Runescape Runaround

The Trouble with Delrith

In the beginning…

There was a lot going on in the land of Runescape. Unfortunately, I am part of it. I cannot complain too much. I did meet my wife in the swamp behind Lumbridge. My name is Zurtok. My wife's name is Firebabe. She was here before I was. I still have no clue how I wound up in this strange land. Alas, I make the best of it, which is not very much.

As you know, outside the city of Varrock there is the circle of Stone Henge; built to contain the nefarious demon Delrith. I easily defeated him using the Silver Light sword. After I defeated him he simply reappeared and stood there, moving every once in a while. Back in those days, I was adorned in cheap iron armor. Which by the time I defeated him was destroyed. He thought it was funny as hell. I chucked my kite shield at him and nailed him in the head. Before I could expedite my departure he grabbed my leg and held me upside down.

I knew he couldn't hurt me and so did he. He shredded my clothes and flung me from the circle. The sight of a knight in his skivvies flying toward Brimhaven drew a lot of attention. Keep in mind it was not Delrith that hurt me: it was the landing. Yes, I landed the Brimhaven dungeon. I scared the inhabitants so much they didn't think of attacking until I had recovered and scrambled up the rope to safety. I lay on the volcano rim panting.

"Hello there, Zurtok!" A drunken dwarf appeared. It was extremely bad timing on his part. My reaction was to kick him into the volcano. He was none too happy, but that is what he gets for startling me. By the time he was out the volcano I was halfway to Varrock. Firebabe messaged me and inquired if I was up for some goblin hunting.

* * *

Some time later…

Firebabe and I have gotten much stronger. I have become known as "The Shade" due to my affinity for black armor. I occasionally stop by the Stone Henge to whack a few black wizards; me and Delrith pretty much ignore each other. That was until the day I was killing wizards and Firebabe was watching and conversing with me. I bent over to bury some bones and my nose was assaulted by an unholy stench. Turning 'round I discovered the source was Delrith.

"Delrith, you seriously need a mint!"

"And a bath!" Firebabe added.

That gave me an idea. I made my way to the Varrock General Store purchased a bucket and found what I believe was a rag but now felt more like sand paper of the most abrasive grit. I looked over every inch of the lower shelves for soap to no avail.

I climbed a shelf to the top and surveyed the tops of the shelves. I spied a solitary bar of soap amongst a collection of cobwebs. I climbed the wobbly shelf carefully. As I reached for the soap the large caliber spider who owned the soap came out of the cobwebs. I gave a yell and fell backwards bringing the shelf with me. The spider jumped into my helm and the visor clapped shut. The vision of me lying under a shelf squirming about screaming, trying to get my helm off, and cussing like sailor drew quite a crowd. I got my visor open and the spider scurried out. I grabbed the soap and left the store. I got some water at the fountain and returned to the Stone Henge. A few others were fighting wizards now

"What was all the ruckus?" Firebabe asked.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

Delrith was watching me suspiciously now. I set the water by one of the stone pillars, soaked the rag, rubbed it with the soap, and casually began scrubbing the pillar. Delrith twitched his ear as I began whistling innocently. Eventually he lost interest and turned away.

"YAAAH!" I yelled as I lunged at Delrith soapy rag in hand. I hung onto his horns while he tossed me this way and that while I scrubbed him. "Babe, the water, soak 'im!" Firebabe threw the soapy water at Delrith, but I got soaked. "Aw, crp!" The soapy water caused my hands to slide off Delrith's horns. I slammed into a pillar knocking it over.

Delrith was now free. Every one ran screaming dragging Firebabe with them. Delrith stood over me licking his chops.


End file.
